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Showing posts from April, 2017
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I lost my son to suicide I am not sure where the last 12 months went but the pain feels like it was only yesterday that Michael committed suicide. I love you Michael and miss you so very much. Michael's death has changed me in the most profound ways. It literally demolished me, forcing me to figure out who I am without him in my life. I am learning how to find joy in the depth of darkness. There are days of darkness that consume me and take my breath away. If I can out live my child, my strength will have no limits. Finding that strength to move forward is hard. Every day since his death is another day that I’ve survived. I learned that so many things are out of my control. His death has taught me it is possible to live with only half a heart as part of my heart remains with Michael. I am learning that laughter is meant to be heard and tears are meant to fall. I have learned that nothing can change the pain of losing a child. Until April 4, 2016, I didn't know what